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Self-Help Satire For The Soul

A personal message from the author:

This book is meant to highlight the violent changes brought forth to society as humanity tried to adapt to COVID-19. It was all very chaotic, outrageous, yet expected. The commercials kept on telling us that we are all in together, when in fact, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Nature is simple: You either adapt or you die, and a lot of people just ended up screaming at each other in grocery stores.

This book rips into everything you love, and encourages you to laugh along the entire way.

— Dunk Dougan IX

Do you remember the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic? Our lives halted and the prolonged state of stasis left us withering to the bitter winds of constant change which violently swirled around us.

From the humble perspective of Vancouver, British Columbia Canada, The Road To COVID-30 seeks to smash through the barrier that holds you back from your future: Yourself. For you see, you must shift with the paradigm or else be left abandoned, alone, to simply turn to dust. Self-preservation and reclamation are interchangeable, and with newfound grace, now apply to your soul as well as your workplace environment.

COVID-19 Tips Include:

  • When to blame the children.
  • How to shift the blame to the United States.
  • How to make $600 last 4 years.

Bonus* Local Vancouver Guide Tips:

  • How to choose the best government monopoly car insurance crown corporation for you!
  • How to properly time when the Vancouver Park Board emerges from the ocean (based on lunar cycles) so you can update them on various local safety concerns (cracked slides, incidents of torture, etc.).

Family Dynamic Tips Include:

  • Divorce.

Inspired by self-help books which are generally not applicable during a global pandemic (especially hot yoga), and the unique moment when first-world countries started comparing themselves with Iraq, this book is meant to unravel the mysteries of the reality presented to you.

Read online The Road To COVID-30 by Dunk Dougan IX


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